I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
