Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
