New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
So many bounce houses so little time
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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