i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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