Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.