I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?