I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.