so that wasnt chicken after all
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
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I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
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Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.