you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.