I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
no, he came in my armpit
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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