one might say we're banned from that church
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
