so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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