was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
