Quick, to the slutcave!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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