I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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