Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just had sex on a roof
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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