i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
