East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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