I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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