She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
