i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
