How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This house was built for laser tag.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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