the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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