I am spending my child support on dildos
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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