There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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