That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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