Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
