Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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