called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
