she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this just has baby written all over it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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