anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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