Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
