if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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