I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
