Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
