You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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