i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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