i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
