Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
