Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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