If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
