Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So apparently I’m into choking now
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