Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
