If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I need help removing her.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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