They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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