Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
