I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
