i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
