i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize