I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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