I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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