At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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