It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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