I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
