Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
