i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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