I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
