My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
