so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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