i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
dude. I can hear the air.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
