So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
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I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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