i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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