I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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