Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm bleeding and have questions
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize